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IndustryCentral ScreenWriters Exchange: Science Fiction: "LOGAN'S HOLE"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By Gary Dover (Gdover) on Friday, April 28, 2000 - 09:27 pm:


Logline: A creature below the earth settles a death feud between two brothers. 115 page action/adventure.

Teenage brothers, QUINCY and DEVEREAUX, become hated enemies when DEVEREAUX’S girlfriend accidentally blows her brains out during a sick game of Russian roulette. Shifting twenty years into the future finds QUINCY leading a geologic expedition to find the richest motherlode on the planet. The setting is Canada’s highest mountain Mt. Logan.

DEVEREAUX, who is psychotic, has vowed to destroy QUINCY and assembles his own team to defeat his brother at all costs. Back at the corporate headquarters in Seattle, ADDIE the CEO of Amcon has discovered a spy on QUINCY’S team and must come up with a plan to rescue QUINCY’S expedition before DEVEREAUX’s company kills everyone and lays claim to the world’s largest find of gold and diamonds.

During the trek to Mt. Logan, QUINCY and his group are nearly killed by crevasses of ice and an avalanche initiated by DEVEREAUX. During the ascent of Mt. Logan, QUINCY’S party is caught in a blizzard and only through the efforts of our hero is the group saved from being frozen when QUINCY discovers a hidden cave that is the entrance to the bowels of Mt. Logan.

With DEVEREAUX close on his heels QUINCY and his party descend deep within Logan following trace amounts of gold and diamonds. QUINCY realizes that he must plunge further into the abyss to discover the motherlode. QUINCY and his expedition are confronted with rooms of fire, huge snakes, quicksand, spiders, hurricane winds, and walls of water.

QUINCY’s expedition is captured by DEVEREAUX and his sadistic henchman LUCIFER who tortures QUINCY’S party. Just as it looks like the end is near for QUINCY a spy for DEVEREAUX has a change of heart and initiates a suspenseful rescue of her team.

DEVEREAUX and his party are close to the motherlode when a giant albino bat called BIG AL sends a squadron of his bats to massacre EVEREAUX’S group. With DEVEREAUX’S hands full, Quincy discovers the vast underground cache of gold, silver, and gems. Suddenly the mountain starts to tremor indicating that an eruption is imminent.

While trying to escape the mountain, QUINCY is again captured by his brother DEVEREAUX. Playing a demented game of Russian roulette DEVEREAUX has everything he wants, QUINCY’S death and enough riches to live like an emperor. BIG AL has different plans and captures DEVEREAUX and LUCIFER and takes them deep within the bowels of Mt. Logan.

Earthquakes and tremors signal to QUINCY that his group must exit Mt. Logan in order to survive. Using makeshift hot air balloons QUINCY’S party finally reaches the exterior of the mountain only to discover an avalanche bearing down on them. Just as the snow is ready to engulf the expedition a group of NAVY SEALS rappel down a helicopter rescuing QUINCY and the others.

As the rescue chopper flies to safety, a blip on the radar indicates that a large object is on a collision course with the helicopter. Dangling from BIG AL’s claws are DEVERAUX and LUCIFER who make one more attempt to destroy QUINCY.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By Alan A. Armer (Alana) on Thursday, May 4, 2000 - 10:11 am:


This expanded version of your story is certainly more exciting than the earlier version, Gary. It is escape fantasy at its most fantastic and the feud between brothers is intriguing. Too bad we have to keep them separated for most of show - so we cannot play scenes between them.

You have a vivid and colorful imagination but I worry that it is your imaginagion that may cause problems. There are so MANY bizarre elements that at times the events become almost humorous - I don't thinkl that's your intention. Story gets dangerously close to comic book adventures. The giant albino bat is a perfect example.

Even fantasy must have some degree of believability, Gary. The Russian roulette background is believable as the cause of the hatred between brothers but the succession of disastrous events takes us deeper and deeper into the unbelievable.

I believe that the heart of drama is what happens between PEOPLE. All of the catastrophes in the world cannot change that. I do like the idea of a spy within your protagonist's group - and that he recants finally in order to save the day.

Intriguing elements but let's whittle down the catastrophes and concentrate more on characters.

Good luck, Gary!

Critique by Alan A. Armer

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