ScreenWriters Exchange

IndustryCentral Advertising Program

Divided Waters
IndustryCentral ScreenWriters Exchange: Drama: Divided Waters
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By Anita Sclar (Ajkscl) on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 07:58 am:

Winner Screenwriter's Utopia Showcase Award 9/97, Finalist in both the Watkins International Screenplay Competition and the Blue Cat Screenplay Competition. In the tradition of "The English Patient," "Divided Waters" is the story of a Civil War widow who must battle the societal and political forces working to separate her and her lover -- a Rebel soldier she is harboring.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message   By Alan A. Armer (Alana) on Saturday, December 2, 2000 - 12:50 pm:

MODERATOR ANALYSIS


Anita - Wow, I'm impressed by your credits! It's obvious that you know your way around a screenplay.

I would like very much to help you with your story but you have presented so little detail here that it's hard to be helpful.

You say that she is harboring the rebel soldier, not hiding him. Therefore (I'm thinking out loud), if she's battling societal and political sources, those sources must be aware of what she's doing and will probably try to wrest this young rebel away from her.

A solid concept. The progression might go like this. Fleeing for his life, the rebel seeks sanctuary with the widow. Her husband has been killed by confederate soldiers so, initially, she hates the rebel's guts. Does this pattern seem predictable? Yeah, maybe. Perhaps the young soldier is a wily sonofabitch who works on her affections and (when the pressure is off) double crosses her. I like that far better than a conventional love pattern. The audience may/should suspect at some point that he's not the sweet guy she thinks he is.

Ultimately, he gets caught but the widow has learned from this bitter experience and now can rise from the sorrow and bitterness of her husband's death and the rebel's betrayal and begin to live again.

Much good luck, Anita!

Critique by
Alan A. Armer


Message or Comment


A valid username and password combination is required to post a storyline/synopsis or comment.
You may apply by clicking on the "My Profile" link.
Username:  
Password:


The Writers Store
Software, Books & Supplies for Writers & Filmmakers
-- WARNING --
Protect your work
The US Copyright Office
The US Copyright Office has Free Forms
Protect your work
Writers Guild of America
First Register your screenplay with the Writers Guild of America

Back  Home

Email this Page to your friends(s)