The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter,
but, that all subject matter is presented as entertaining.…
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense
The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
What's this business of being a writer?
It's just putting one word after another.
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
The problem with television is that the people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn’t time for it. Therefore, the showmen are…
The faster I write the better my output. If I'm going slow I'm in trouble. It means I'm pushing the words instead of being pulled by them.
The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
From: "Tuesday's with Morrie"
We must learn to love one another or die.... We must!
Seeing a murder on television, can help work off one's antagonisms.
And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some!
I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
Why should people go out and pay to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?
No matter how slow the film, Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer it has chosen.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Kiss and make up...
but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them!
Life ain't no dress rehearsal.
While attending a Production Meeting
This is no place to ask questions!!
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
You don't write because you want to say something; you write because you've got something to say.
When you're down and out, something always turns up -- and it's usually the noses of your friends.
Do, or do not. - There is no 'try'..
Sage Advise to a Young Oregonian, Barbara Niven
If you want to make it in show business, get the hell out of Oregon!
When asked what he thought of William Shakespeare
I'll moider da bum!
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft.
I can't wait to one day shoot in Detroit and say 'Let's have this double for Toronto'.
Advise to a young Richard Roundtree
Whatever you do in this business, It's much easier than lifting heavy things.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it.
I said, Thyroid problem?
I'll give you a definite maybe.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by favoring to attempt.
The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own.
To young actor. Eugene Roach on the subject of acting
Don't ever let 'em catch you at it.
